TRAILER REVIEW: STAR WARS- THE FORCE AWAKENS

I'm not sure what more you could ask for.

Starting with a downed Star Destroyer, this feels more like Star Wars than the last three Star Wars films did.

You have throwback voice-over. You have the classic rustic feel of the original trilogy. You have returning characters. You have a foreboding Vader reference. You have new blood. New vehicles. New character designs. And the return of Han and Chewie, and they actually feel like Han and Chewie.

This is what I've been saying since Disney made the Star Wars acquisition a couple years ago- they are going to do it right. Just like they are doing Marvel right.

Disney has set out to make Star Wars films. That is the key to profitability, and Disney knows it. Star Wars has a fan base built in that is as rabid, and judgmental, and nit-picky as any fan base in existence. And why not? The original mythology is stupendous and it was desecrated by Episodes 1-3. So when the House of Mouse pulled the trigger, it was easy to feel that trepidation.

But the worries were all for naught.

Look, I'm not a purebred Star Wars guy, so I don't really feel all that qualified to speak on the subject here. Just press play. And when the video stops, press play again.

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Follow Adrian on Twitter @AdrianAnyway 

ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University. 


Movie Reviews: 
American Sniper
Cinderella (2015)
Get Hard

Other Reactions:
2015: A Very Marvel Happening
Amy Pascal Sacked
Aquaman Poster

MOVIE REVIEW: AMERICAN SNIPER

There are things going on in American Sniper that I'm just not sure I understand. I'm tempted to call it a decent movie with one hell of a performance out of Bradley Cooper. But, if the things I think I get are things I actually get, the move is a trip and a half.

First off, Sienna Miller, who plays Chris Kyle's wife, is never ever ever a likable character. Even her introductory scene is one where she is purposely being a bitch. On top of not being a likable character, it is rare that she is even a sympathetic character. It's a hell of a thing to pull off to be unsympathetic as an Armed Forces wife.

Second, the "big bad" is given a very humanizing scene where we see his family. We see this right after Kyle leaves his family to return to the war. Not only that, but the "big bad" is a character made up for the film, and is in direct opposition to Kyle in a few scenes. He is also has the same specialty that Kyle does.

Third, a kid gets slugged and we're supposed to accept it as an audience. But this acceptance doesnot happen in the Ethics 101 "what would you do" after the situation type of way. It's real time, you throw up your hands and say, "wow."

Fourth, the Hero Worship of Chris Kyle happens predominantly off screen. We're shown once, in a flashback, that Chris Kyle is the good guy. After that, it is up to the viewer. Even as we feel his shame in a growing iconic status.

Fifth, as the movie goes on, you feel something is missing. That "something" is soul. That "something" is a connection between characters. That "something" is the tame lapse that occurs during and between four tours.

But Cooper's performance is phenomenal. So, is this faulty movie making? Or were these purposeful decisions made to accentuate Kyle's descent from a confident moral arbiter to a man who almost throws a haymaker on Lassie?

I cannot say.

I do believe it was masterful how religion played a role to the characters in the movie, but did not become a thematic "us versus them" type of distraction.

All that said, if it is faulty movie making, Cooper's performance makes up for it. If it is intentional, bravo Eastwood. Bravo.

88/100

OTHER MOVIE REVIEWS:
Cinderella (2015)

Get Hard

ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University. 

MOVIE REVIEW: GET HARD

I'll be honest, I've never been a Will Ferrell fan. Anchor Man was good. Anchor Man 2 was too Ferrell-ish. Zoolander is classic. Talledega Nights was funny when Sacha Baron Cohen was on screen. Stranger than Fiction was interesting. Blades of Glory wasn't. I liked A Night at the Roxbury, but that movie is nearly old enough to buy cigarettes.

But Kevin Hart makes me laugh harder than anyone else. So, I was willing to give a comedy, with what seemed like a simple plot, a view.

Based on that thought process of the first two paragraphs here, there are two big surprises with this movie. The first is positive. The second is negative.

1. Will Ferrell plays an actual character. It's close to a caricature, but there is some nuance in the performance. One of my gripes with Ferrell is that when the script/scene requires nuance, Ferrell reverts  to his Jacob Silj "I CAN'T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY VOICE" character from Saturday Night Live 20 years ago (that's my story and I'm sticking to it...". Because of that, all of his jokes have the same sound and delivery. For me, the type of comedy that has always worked best is when character flaws are exposed through scene, setting, and honesty of character. That's why I contend that Tropic Thunder is nearly flawless. Ferrell's character in Get Hard gets to shine through moments of aloofness that only a millionaire white man could get away with. A few simple character-moments allow the stereotypical Ferrell outbursts to be more entertaining.

2. The plot is needlessly complicated. Which could be fine. Who is really seeing a Kevin Hart film and hoping for cinematic mastery? However, because of this, there are tons of "just shoot them already," moments. There are also a lot of moments where the plot goes somewhere that makes no real sense, and character motivations are questionable at best. On top of that, the "big twist" is so obvious, clunky, and poorly executed that you have to wonder if it was written as a plot point, but directed as a plot twist.

Kevin Hart is flawless. He would be worth the price of admission by himself.

Craig T. Nelson was a definitive strength in the film, and hopefully he starts popping up in more movies.

T.I. is legitimately terrifying. I was prepared for his role to be disappointing, but now I'm even more excited for Ant-Man.

Alison Brie is everything the movie needed, and more. She is on her way to Anna-Faris-comedy-goddess status.

Overall the movie is worth the investment of a couple hours and a few dollars. It's not a Mel Brooks film, but it isn't a Seth Rogen film either.

79/100

 ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University. 

OTHER MOVIE REVIEWS:
American Sniper

Cinderella (2015)

Cinderella (2015): Or A Tale of Inspiration for Upper-Middle Class White Women

Disney is continuing their trend of double-popping stories that are largely someone else's by making them live-action. I'm not oppose to this. They switch up the story a bit, sprinkle in some ethnicity, and special effects are so good now that a remake actually makes sense to do.

But do they have to be so trite?

I know, I know, they are for children after all. Little girls, especially. Little white girls especially especially. Upper-middle class little white girls, especially especially especially. This version makes sure the target market feels nice and at-home with the story by exposing us in depth to the fact that Cinderella, or Ella as she was then known, was actually fairly well-to-do before all the Stepmother business. Her father did well enough as a merchant that the family had help. And Ella helped them whenever she saw fit. The family actually had so much help that mommy had little else to do besides give Ella a nice, loving childhood and make sure the little girl was superstitious enough to believe in magic and fairy godmothers and even white men that are richer than her father.

That's right, girls. The classic tale of looking just good enough for one night that you can trick a rich man into marrying you so that you don't have to work is incomparable by women's rights movements and growing poverty rates and Kenneth Branagh.

Speaking of Branagh, when is he going to stop getting a free pass based on the "scope of his vision"? He's been directing Shakespeare since the Reagan years. In fact, his directorial debut opened a couple weeks before the Velvet Revolution and the release of "The Little Mermaid."

Which brings us to the cast. Lily James is as boring as you could hope a Disney Princess would be. Also, eyebrows. Any amount of Helena Bonham Carter is overwrought. She's gone full Depp. Ben Chaplin, who plays Ella's father, looks like Antonio Banderas and Steve Coogan had a baby. Once I got over that fact, his eyes still creeped me out. For some reason, I feel like Richard Madden has only ever played a prince. Branagh is compelling as Iago. Sophie McShera and Holiday Grainger play the evil stepsisters Drisella and Anastasia respectively. Grainger's hair has more charisma than Lily James (eyebrows), and both sisters should have had more screen time.

But here's the real conundrum. Cate Blanchett stole the show as Cate Blanchett is one to do. But I wonder if there is something more going on here. In a movie which attempts to cash in on the emotional investment of childhood memory as oppose to building it fresh, the Big-Bad was genuinely a more compelling character. One written with more freedom. And acted in superior fashion. I wonder if this will only resonate with adults as children are so easily sold their stake in a protagonist.

There are some neat effects in the movie. Like a stomach-turning moment when a lizard is morphing into a footman which visually falls into the Uncanny Valley. Also, it was funny to hear the rich, white, twenty-something woman and her mother sitting next to me having such audible guttural reactions to a cheesy movie.

VERDICT: If this is your bag, you're going to see it and love it no matter how bad I tell you it is. If it's not your bag, take someone to see it, that way you don't have to see Avengers: Age of Ultron by yourself.

72/100


ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University. 

OTHER MOVIE REVIEWS:
American Sniper

Get Hard

Aquaman: Khal Oceano

I was on board (pun intended) with the casting of Jason Mamoa as Aquaman. He's the exact opposite of what you think of when you hear the name "Aquaman." And what I mean by that is he's intimidating. Not the joke of a hero who talks to fish.

Especially with the DC universe shaping up to be as, I guess, "dark" as it is shaping up to be. After all, we've had one movie, and in it Superman ruined a truck drivers life, let his dad die in a tornado because his dog was probably going to die in a tornado, and I'm pretty sure he calls Zod a "motherfucker" while beating him in the face. Also, massive IHOP destruction. Then they made Ben Affleck into an alcoholic looking Batman. Then a woman from (perpetual warzone) Israel was cast as Wonder Woman. All things considered, Aquaman was not going to fit.

So when Khal Drogo was cast, I thought it was a pretty good call.

Break from tradition and the casual-fan perception of Aquaman as a joke by bringing someone to the table who probably stole your lunch money. It stands to reason that if you're going to go in that direction, you break completely from the character, bring in an actor and make both the actor and the character unrecognizable to common perception.

Then they released a picture of him.

It is literally Khal Drogo as Aquaman. Same hair, same weird eyebrows, same eye shadow, same tattoos, same facial hair.

This is the equivalent of Disney going to Robert Downey Jr. and saying, "Hey, we're going to make a middle-aged Obi Wan movie, and we want you for it. But keep the Iron Man facial hair goatee thingey."

What's Dothraki for "half-baked?"

Amy Pascal Sacked

Amy Pascal is out at Sony.

If the Sony leaks were real (and no one made any real effort to play that part down) then Pascal was one of the main road blocks for Marvel sub-leasing Spider-Man into the MCU.

What does her departure mean? Well, hopefully, talks will resume with Marvel to get the webslinger into their Cinematic Universe.

It really would be a win-win proposition after the MISERABLE last outing for the character. Reports indicated that there was an 80/20 deal on the table for Marvel to produce/write/inform the new direction for the character in at least one movie and several MCU appearances. Reportedly it would have also meant a recasting of the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

(Post: 2015 Looks Massive for Nerds)

For Marvel it would be a win, simply because of another major face being on the landscape in their Cinematic Universe. Plus Sony sold the merchandising rights to Spider-Man a couple years ago and guess who bought them. Yup, Disney.

For Sony, it would be a win to give credibility back to a franchise that has been painful two of the last three times the character has been on the bigscreen. To steal a quote from Kevin Feige about the Hulk and how Joss Whedon would use him in The Avengers, "I want him to be cool again."

While Spider-Man's profitability is still not in question, the last three Spider-Man movies have all crossed the $700 billion mark and the franchise still averages $790+ worldwide, the cool factor is definitely wearing out. Who hasn't made an Emo Parker dance joke?

There's only one thing left to do....twitter mob. Let's all promise #Sony that we'll see 5 Sony films at the theater this year so long as they go take Marvel up on the offer.

Daredevil: Take That DC

Well...there's blood...

It looks like Marvel is doing the exact opposite of DC on the smallscreen too. Well, as long as you discount Agents of Shield and the Peggy Carter deal, anyway, which are every bit as corny as the Arrow show. And though there is minimal corny in this trailer, there is still some cheese. How overwrought is the idea of a hero being so dedicated to his city? 

This looks to be how Marvel is countering the "soft and fluffy" accusations coming from baseball-cap-wearing, five-o'clock-shadow-keeping, 140-pound-affliction-shirt-wearing Zack Snyder fans and Christopher Nolan apologists. 

It's dark. Real dark. So dark it's like they are purposely trying to get you to forget red-leather clad Ben Affleck by making you think of all-black clad Batfleck. And if you're trying to reboot a superhero, why not try to invoke thoughts of one of the most popular heroes of all time? 

More than that though, this seems to be it's own brand when compared to the rest of the Marvel stuff. And that makes me wonder if maybe they're setting up something bigger. The same way they did with Iron Man. Could this be the start of the street-level heroes?

Reports are that Marvel is the proud new owner of the Ghost Rider (another superhero in desperate need of rebranding...) and the Punisher (who has some cult success with his movies.) Could this be the beginning of The Marvel Knights? Jessica Jones, Luke Cage and Iron Fist have already been announced for their Netflix run.

(Post: Spider-Man to Marvel Rumors Again...

I've been clamoring for Moon Knight to be added to the MCU for the better part of five years now, but if Marvel brings him to Netflix, well, I just may have to sign up for an account. 

Daredevil and Ghost Rider have already seen big screen adaptations come and fail. Is Netflix a better home for the properties? Many fans had hoped that Luke Cage, Iron Fist and (pleasepleaseplease) Moon Knight would see the silver screen. We know that the ABC shows share full crossover with the MCU, but where do the Netflix series stand? And could we see any of these characters in the Avengers: Infinity War movies? 

This post is brought to you by Ben Affleck's Kristen Stewart face. Hopefully he closes his damn mouth once in a while while playing Batman, huh?

ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University.