Disney is continuing their trend of double-popping stories that are largely someone else's by making them live-action. I'm not oppose to this. They switch up the story a bit, sprinkle in some ethnicity, and special effects are so good now that a remake actually makes sense to do.
But do they have to be so trite?
I know, I know, they are for children after all. Little girls, especially. Little white girls especially especially. Upper-middle class little white girls, especially especially especially. This version makes sure the target market feels nice and at-home with the story by exposing us in depth to the fact that Cinderella, or Ella as she was then known, was actually fairly well-to-do before all the Stepmother business. Her father did well enough as a merchant that the family had help. And Ella helped them whenever she saw fit. The family actually had so much help that mommy had little else to do besides give Ella a nice, loving childhood and make sure the little girl was superstitious enough to believe in magic and fairy godmothers and even white men that are richer than her father.
That's right, girls. The classic tale of looking just good enough for one night that you can trick a rich man into marrying you so that you don't have to work is incomparable by women's rights movements and growing poverty rates and Kenneth Branagh.
Speaking of Branagh, when is he going to stop getting a free pass based on the "scope of his vision"? He's been directing Shakespeare since the Reagan years. In fact, his directorial debut opened a couple weeks before the Velvet Revolution and the release of "The Little Mermaid."
Which brings us to the cast. Lily James is as boring as you could hope a Disney Princess would be. Also, eyebrows. Any amount of Helena Bonham Carter is overwrought. She's gone full Depp. Ben Chaplin, who plays Ella's father, looks like Antonio Banderas and Steve Coogan had a baby. Once I got over that fact, his eyes still creeped me out. For some reason, I feel like Richard Madden has only ever played a prince. Branagh is compelling as Iago. Sophie McShera and Holiday Grainger play the evil stepsisters Drisella and Anastasia respectively. Grainger's hair has more charisma than Lily James (eyebrows), and both sisters should have had more screen time.
But here's the real conundrum. Cate Blanchett stole the show as Cate Blanchett is one to do. But I wonder if there is something more going on here. In a movie which attempts to cash in on the emotional investment of childhood memory as oppose to building it fresh, the Big-Bad was genuinely a more compelling character. One written with more freedom. And acted in superior fashion. I wonder if this will only resonate with adults as children are so easily sold their stake in a protagonist.
There are some neat effects in the movie. Like a stomach-turning moment when a lizard is morphing into a footman which visually falls into the Uncanny Valley. Also, it was funny to hear the rich, white, twenty-something woman and her mother sitting next to me having such audible guttural reactions to a cheesy movie.
VERDICT: If this is your bag, you're going to see it and love it no matter how bad I tell you it is. If it's not your bag, take someone to see it, that way you don't have to see Avengers: Age of Ultron by yourself.
72/100
ADRIAN FORT is a writer, blogger, and essayist from Kansas City, Missouri. Follow him on twitter @adriananyway. His work has appeared in Existere, decomP magazinE, The Bluest Aye, Bareback Magazine, Gadfly Online, Chrome Baby, The Eunoia Review, Linguistic Erosion, and Smashed Cat Magazine. His Master's Degree is from Lindenwood University.
OTHER MOVIE REVIEWS:
American Sniper
Get Hard
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